This is a difficult subject for me to write. My concept of friends are different to other people. There are 6 category that i put them in.
1) Enemies - hate each other
2) Nobody - only talk once in a while
3) Classmates - only friends in school but not friends in the outside world
4) Friends - Friends in outside school and in school
5) Good friends - Share each other feelings and share our secrets
6) Best friends - have been good friends for a long period of time
To be honest, whenver i hear the word 'friend' being said to me, i always hear sarcastic in their voice.
Why can't people just be honest and tell you in the face that we are not friends.
Why do people lie? Is it to make themselves feel better?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
No one is perfect
Nobody in this world are perfect. They all have problems in their life. I have a theory or i believe that you can either have one of these things:
a) had a good childhood life but the future will be terrible
b) had a bad childhood life but will have a bright future
c) had a normal childhood life and a normal future
Do you think my beliefs are ridiculous? My beliefs are that you can either choose one of them. You cannot have a good childhood and also a good future at the same time.
Everything happen for a reason. God have already set the path for you.
People keep telling me that my family is wealthy. I admit that i am not poor.
Let's just assume that i am rich and go to an expensive school. But you have little friends and are suffering. Whats the point of being rich without any happiness? Whats the point of living if you are suffering every minute. For me every week, there will be days that are bad and some might be good.
I have never had a good week. If i had a great day today, tomorrow or the next day would be the worst day. From the multiple choice, if i had to choose one of them, i would choose b.
If i were to find out that my beliefs are incorrect and in the future i still suffers. There would be only one left thing to do at that time.
I hope in the future i would leave my past behind and never ever have any memories of it.
What would you choose? Should i continue believing in my beliefs or should i not believing in anything anymore? I admit that i am a lost boy. I am just on a journey to find the truth. To find who i really am?
a) had a good childhood life but the future will be terrible
b) had a bad childhood life but will have a bright future
c) had a normal childhood life and a normal future
Do you think my beliefs are ridiculous? My beliefs are that you can either choose one of them. You cannot have a good childhood and also a good future at the same time.
Everything happen for a reason. God have already set the path for you.
People keep telling me that my family is wealthy. I admit that i am not poor.
Let's just assume that i am rich and go to an expensive school. But you have little friends and are suffering. Whats the point of being rich without any happiness? Whats the point of living if you are suffering every minute. For me every week, there will be days that are bad and some might be good.
I have never had a good week. If i had a great day today, tomorrow or the next day would be the worst day. From the multiple choice, if i had to choose one of them, i would choose b.
If i were to find out that my beliefs are incorrect and in the future i still suffers. There would be only one left thing to do at that time.
I hope in the future i would leave my past behind and never ever have any memories of it.
What would you choose? Should i continue believing in my beliefs or should i not believing in anything anymore? I admit that i am a lost boy. I am just on a journey to find the truth. To find who i really am?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Betrayal
Have you ever been betrayed before? How did you feel? Did you want revenge?
I admit that i am not famous or special. I am always sad and unhappy. I only have a few friends. I admit that everyday i feel like i want to die. My world is full of gloomy days. Today was one of the worst day ever. This was the first time i feel like i was being rejected. Rejected by others because of my personality. Today me and and a classmate of mine was supposed to be partners. We were supposed to share tables because each of us had to choose a partner to share with. We promised to be partners. But the next day i found out that he chose another partner. He chose that other partner because he was more famous and had better qualities than me. I am not angry at him for breaking the promise. But im dissapointed. BUT At the same time, i was glad he betrayed me because now i know his true qualities. AT least now i will just assume that all my classmates are the same as him. I dont blame him for not wanting to be partners with me. Because everyone know what qualities i have. I won't get revenge on him because that wont solve anything. It will just create problems. He is who he is. I cant change who he is. All the past years he chose me to be his partner because no one wanted to be his partner. Now i feel so stupid. At least i have learnt the TRUTH. NOW I wont trust anyone. It will be me alone against the world. The world of darkness full of fake people. THIS IS THE TRUTH. WHat do you think? Should i get revenge? Should i continue living my life? OR Should i just die?
Give me a reason why should i continue living this life? Why is God making me suffer?
I admit that i am not famous or special. I am always sad and unhappy. I only have a few friends. I admit that everyday i feel like i want to die. My world is full of gloomy days. Today was one of the worst day ever. This was the first time i feel like i was being rejected. Rejected by others because of my personality. Today me and and a classmate of mine was supposed to be partners. We were supposed to share tables because each of us had to choose a partner to share with. We promised to be partners. But the next day i found out that he chose another partner. He chose that other partner because he was more famous and had better qualities than me. I am not angry at him for breaking the promise. But im dissapointed. BUT At the same time, i was glad he betrayed me because now i know his true qualities. AT least now i will just assume that all my classmates are the same as him. I dont blame him for not wanting to be partners with me. Because everyone know what qualities i have. I won't get revenge on him because that wont solve anything. It will just create problems. He is who he is. I cant change who he is. All the past years he chose me to be his partner because no one wanted to be his partner. Now i feel so stupid. At least i have learnt the TRUTH. NOW I wont trust anyone. It will be me alone against the world. The world of darkness full of fake people. THIS IS THE TRUTH. WHat do you think? Should i get revenge? Should i continue living my life? OR Should i just die?
Give me a reason why should i continue living this life? Why is God making me suffer?
Birthday
My birthday was just a couple of weeks ago. The TRUTH is every year i would spent my birthday alone. Because thats how i want it to be. I don't like celebrating my birthday because it doesn't mean anything to me. I ask them, what is the point of celebrating your birthday? They answered: to celebrate our new age. Well i rarely say happy birthday to anyone because i think its pointless. what do you think? What does birthdays mean to you? I know i'm weird, but thats who i am. I have my own beliefs and others have their owns. I am sure that you have said "Happy Birthday" to someone a million times and im sure that you dont remember when you said it.
For example : A guy call Tom. His birthday was today. All his classmates says happy birthday to him. BUT will Tom remember who said happy birthday to him. He will quickly forgets.
My point is whats the point of saying happy birthday to someone if that someone will forget about it the next day.
People would said that they are just being nice.
I apologize if i have offended others but if you disagree with my beliefs. Feel free to comment it. I wont get piss if you post something very offensive because i will learn from other people honest comments.
For example : A guy call Tom. His birthday was today. All his classmates says happy birthday to him. BUT will Tom remember who said happy birthday to him. He will quickly forgets.
My point is whats the point of saying happy birthday to someone if that someone will forget about it the next day.
People would said that they are just being nice.
I apologize if i have offended others but if you disagree with my beliefs. Feel free to comment it. I wont get piss if you post something very offensive because i will learn from other people honest comments.
JOURNEY
Currently i am on a journey. A journey to find the truth. Do you always wonder what it truly means when revealing your secret. This man with his great quotes once told me "by revealing what you are hiding from world
you are collapsing the barrier between people
a barrier that interupts you
during the time of our lives"
quote by "SYI"
This quote have made my life more meaningful. It gave me more confident to reveal my secrets. BUT What do you think? Should I or i shouldn't reveal my secrets.
you are collapsing the barrier between people
a barrier that interupts you
during the time of our lives"
quote by "SYI"
This quote have made my life more meaningful. It gave me more confident to reveal my secrets. BUT What do you think? Should I or i shouldn't reveal my secrets.
1 TRUTH
I am tired of lying to myself. Since the day i was born, i lie to myself to make myseld feel better. I lie to people to make people think positively of me. I don't reveal my true personality because i don't want to be alone. So what should i do? Keep telling lies and hide THE TRUTH.
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